Christmas Shopping
by liz22463
Summary: Has the Christmas Shopping Bug bit everyone? Or is Alex going to be this year's Grinch? Tune in at eleven to find out. Don't actually tune in at eleven. It was a joke, for all you humorless people out there.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Me: Hey Alex! Why don't you help me with MY Christmas shopping?

Alex: Sorry, after helping Jack, I'm not doing ANY more shopping this year.

Anthony Horowitz: Alex! Come help me carry my stuff while I go shopping.

Alex: Coming!

Me: How come you go when HE asks you, but not when I do?

Alex: Uh... Cause technically I belong to Anthony Horowitz, and not you.

Me: Fine, rub it in some more will you!

* * *

Christmas Shopping

"Alex!" called Jack, who was just coming in the door. "I'm home!"

"Oh hey Jack." said a boy roughly of fourteen, with dirty blond hair, wearing cargo pants and a sweatshirt. "Guess who paid me a visit today?"

Jack stopped hanging up her coat to stare at Alex. "MI6? I swear Alex, if they asked you to go on yet another mission, I'll…" Jack never got to finish her sentence because Alex cut in.

"No. Actually Crawley came and gave me this credit card." said Alex holding up a blue Visa® credit card. "Apparently, MI6 felt so bad about my last mission that they're willing to pay for all of our Christmas expenses."

Jack's jaw dropped. "What's the limit?"

"I don't think there is one."

Jack immediately put her coat back on. "Grab something warm, we're leaving."

"What about my homework? I just got caught up, and my teachers assigned as a bunch for the holidays. They're trying to ruin Christmas."

"You're actually doing homework????"

Alex looked disgruntled. "Whatever, let's just go."

Jack smirked all the way to Harrods, while Alex looked like he was ready to bolt any minute now.

"Ah. Harrods. A collection of super expensive things for super rich people." Jack didn't like to shop at Harrods much, but since MI6 was paying, she thought she might as well get all of her Christmas shopping done.

"I do my homework sometimes!" piped Alex. Jack looked at him with a "you're crazy, and you know I'm right" look.

"So, we should probably buy presents for all your teachers and your friends."

"No need for buying off my teachers. MI6 already did. "

"No wonder you're getting all A's in your classes even though you NEVER DO YOUR HOMEWORK!"

Alex's expression changed from disgruntled to mischievous. "Why don't we start with buying presents for your relatives first?"

Now it was Jack's turn to look disgruntled.

"Fine, but you'll have to help me carry everything."

Alex smirked triumphantly.

4 hours later… Jack had finished all of her shopping for presents. Now she was just going around randomly buying stuff.

"How about this??" asked Jack, holding up a black leather LeSportSac purse.

"Sure." came Alex's voice from behind the mound of clothes so big it was hiding his head. "Just tell me when I'm about to run into a wall." Alex had been carrying Jack's shopping for the past four hours.

It started out as a couple of shirts, but soon Jack was buying everything in sight.

"Oww." Came a muffled voice under a pile of clothes and accessories. Alex had just run into a dressing room door. Jack could not stop laughing.

"Here. Let me help you up." Said Jack between laughs. "Maybe it's time to go home."

* * *

So how was it??? I think it was horrible. Tell me if you think I should delete it. Sorry it was so short. Reviews are REALLY appreciated. If I don't get any I'll probably delete this story because I don't want to post a horrible story. Sorry that I haven't updated my other Alex Rider fanfic in a while. I don't think I'm really going to continue it. If you've got time please read it and tell me if you like it. So, anyways, PLEASE REVIEW!!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:

Me: I'm too tired to do a disclaimer today. And my mom is bugging me to get of the computer.

Alex: Never begin a sentence with a conjunction.

Me: Shut up.

* * *

"Oh, I think I'm finally in heaven." Alex looked over just in time to see Jack dramatically put the back of her hand to her forehead.

"I'd believe you if you haven't been doing that every time you see a purse or shoes by some really flaming Italian guy."

"But Alex," whined Jack, ''those are the prettiest shoes I've ever seen. Besides, Jimmy Choo isn't even Italian."

"Jack. Remember those really pointy shoes that you bought?" asked Alex.

"What? The really pointy, adorable, Chanel slingbacks??"

"Yeah. Those." replied Alex. "I will take those shoes and stick them through my head if we don't leave soon."

"Whatever Alex."

"Okay, Jack. It's time to go now," Alex said with an exasperated sigh. "I know you don't need seven lumpy sweaters that look like the 1970s threw up on them."

"Those are for Uncle Bob," said Jack rather pointedly.

"Who the hell is Uncle Bob?" asked Alex. He was getting impatient. "Look. I'll make you a deal…"

Alex never got to finish his sentence because Jack cut him off. "Oooh! A deal! I love deals! What is it?"

"We leave now, and no one dies."

A girl wearing a black and white shirt that looked like a corset, and a very glittery pair of skinny jeans, walked past them. Jack turned around and gasped to Alex, "OMG that shirt is so adorable! I wonder where she got it."

"She got it at New Look, I've seen them in the window. There's one at the Victoria Place Shopping Centre, let's go." said Alex quickly. Then realized his mistake. As he covered his mouth, he heard his salvation.

"Not so fast Alex, I know you're trying to trick me into leaving. Since you seem so eager to go, we can stop there on the way home. Just let me grab those Jimmy Choos and we can go," Jack was so into shopping that she didn't even realize he has just suggested a new place to shop...

Alex could be seen rolling his eyes, and pretending to strangle himself.

"Where did they go?" cried Jack. "That girl in the glittery pants must have taken them!"

"Good. Now we can LEAVE!" shouted Alex. Some random person gave him a "who lost their snotty nosed kid" look.

"Help me get them back! Please!!!! You're supposed to be good at these things. Get them back before she buys them!!" Although her puppy dog eyes were quite professional, Alex pretended to be immune.

"No! They're just bloody shoes!!!!!" fumed Alex. "We are leaving. Now!" Now everyone gave Alex that look.

"But Alex, it's your fault." insisted Jack. "If you hadn't distracted me with Uncle Bob's sweaters, I would have gotten them."

Alex's eyes flashed dangerously. "I have homework to do." retorted Alex.

"Tell you what, if you get me those shoes, I won't make you wear those sweaters I bought for Uncle Bob..." promised Jack.

"Fine. But we're leaving right after you buy those shoes. Okay?" Alex finally relented. He was so hungry and tired by now, that he would have even let Jack put girls' clothes on him just to get out alive.

"Yey! I'll finally get my shoes!!!" said Jack excitedly.

Alex rolled his eyes. "No more crack for you...I mean coffee."

* * *

So what did you think? Sorry for the short chapter, but I updated pretty quick. Please review. For those of you who have stories up, you know what its like to get alerts but no reviews. It's rather annoying. xD Anyways, review!!! I'll update soon if I get at least 8 reviews, (that's just 5 more!!!) 


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Hi Alex!!

Alex: Umm... Hi...

Me: GAHH!!!! I don't own you alright??? Are you happy now?? Just quit with the glaring!!!

Alex: Uh, okay. cough crazy cough.

* * *

20 minutes later…

"Is that her?" asked Jack while pointing to a girl in a pair of glittery pants.

"No. She's just wearing a regular shirt," replied Alex. "and one of those horrid Uncle Bob sweaters."

"Ugh!!!" screamed Jack. "That must be like the tenth girl wearing glittery pants today!" Jack seemed very frustrated. Alex smirked. "You know what? I'm going to go buy some more stuff. You go find her, you're supposed to be good at stuff like this."

Alex looked confused. "Huh? I'm supposed to be good at finding girls in glittery pants? What?"

"No! You're supposed to be good at tracking people down!" cried Jack. "How thick are you?"

Alex just rolled his eyes. "At least I'm not on crack…" mumbled Alex almost incoherently.

"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that, and I'll meet you back by the shoes in one hour." replied Jack hurriedly. She seemed to really want to leave Alex to his tracking, and go shop some more. "Bye!"

Alex sighed. Now that Jack was gone, Alex could resort to a little bit more unorthodox ways of finding the girl with the shoes.

15 minutes later…

Alex was in the security control room, and could see almost everything that was happening in Harrods. It was relatively easy to get in without being questioned too much. All Alex had to do was to bully a guard into giving him the security codes by showing him his MI6 ID, and telling him it was a top-secret mission.

Alex scanned the screens for any sight of a girl in glitter pants. He saw the girl with the horrible fashion taste from earlier trying on more horrid sweaters. Alex wondered if she was collecting crappy clothes or something. Then he saw Jack struggling to carry all of her shopping by herself. Now she knew how HE felt when he had to carry everything. Nope, she found a sales guy and made him carry her shopping. Alex almost felt sorry for him.

Finally! Alex caught sight of the girl with the shoes! She was in the makeup department and was trying on different shades of lip-gloss. As she was turning to leave, she bumped into a muscular man with a broken nose and a slight accent.

"Oops. Sorry," said the girl with an American accent. She sounded like she was from SoCal.

"That's okay," replied the man, although he looked kind of peeved.

Alex knew he was in trouble the moment he got a better view of the man speaking to the glittery pants girl, he grabbed his jacket and sprinted down to the makeup department, knocking down a few people on the way, earning a few dirty looks.

He knew he was in the right department as soon as he saw all the bright lights, the counters filled with makeup, and the salesgirls rushing up to you, asking if you'd like to try their new perfume, or in Alex's case, cologne.

"Excuse me," said Alex, trying to get pass a crowd of people in front of the mirrors, "pardon me."

Finally Alex had gotten pass the crowds of vain people trying to see if 'ruby red' lipstick or something equally as dumb, looked good on them, and caught sight of the girl in glittery pants. She was chatting with the man from earlier, giving him advice on what to buy.

For almost the first time, Alex wasn't sure what to do. He could either climb through the air vents, and use his yo-yo gadget to propel himself down to steal the shoes, or use a smoke bomb as a distraction so he could grab the shoes and run. No, these options would be too obvious; he had to do something that NOBODY would ever think to do. He had to ask politely for the shoes, and the girl would be so shocked that she would agree. Or at least, Alex hoped she would agree, and if that didn't work, he would be forced to get on his knees and beg, and that would be extremely embarrassing in front of the man that made 2 weeks of his life miserable.

* * *

Like it? It was longer than the last chapter... Can anyone guess who the man is? Review, and tell me if you can! Also, check out my other story, Evil or Good. I will update that one soon. Sorry it took so long. I had to change most of the plot because it just wasn't working. xD 


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